Why you ask? Oh you know. First it was a sad commercial. Then it was because I was bored. Then I started thinking about having the baby and I cried. Then I thought how lucky I was to be ABLE to have a child so I cried.
Basically my hormones are making me crazy. We had a mid-wife visit this past Thursday which always gives me a mental boost. I love hearing the babies heartbeat it reassures my ever-worrying mind that I do indeed have a baby inside me that's doing exactly what it should.
I havent' mentioned it here yet but I have a frontal placenta (Medically speaking its called: anterior). It simply means its positioned in the front on my stomach behind my belly button. The only bad side effect is it's like the babies kicking a pillow so I only feel kicks on my sides on the outside.
So, not really bad at all.
Unless you are me and you WANT to feel reassuring kicks all day :o). Needless to say the babies heartbeat is still in the strong 150s and everything looks normal. As of today I'm 28 weeks so we have just another 12 short weeks to go.
I'm sure this is the reason I'm freaking out a little. 12 weeks. Some how as we get closer I find myself questioning EVERYTHING I know about babies. Sure I've helped friends with their little ones but that was years ago.
What if I forget how to put on a diaper?
What if my milk doesn't come in?
What if I actually suck at this whole mom thing?
I'm sure all of these thoughts are normal but there they are. Our mid-wife gave me some food for thought which I keep repeating to myself.
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.
Needless to say I've been a big ball of wishy-washy hormones and I'm hoping to return to my bouncy free-spirted self soon.