So this is what Formula feels like.

Today I gave Chloe her first bottle of formula. I know a few of you are trying to do the math so I'll save you time, she's 5 1/2 months old. But before I dive in to the why I'd like to dive in the how. Because to be completely honest, I feel like I was lied to. 

Maybe only by myself but we'll see. Prior to finding out I was pregnant I always knew I'd breastfeed. The only thing I didn't know is how hard it would be (I wrote quite a few posts about it just see the parenting tab). But after two and a half months we FINALLY figured it out. She was latching, so after a few weeks of pumping and latching we moved on to breast only. 

No more bottles. No pumping. 

It was a glorious 12 weeks (ok glorious might be a bit much but you get it). Sure, it might have been a little inconvenient to always have to be with her for every feeding. But I loathed pumping enough that I was more than happy to trade the pump for connivence. 

Fast forward two months of breast only feeding >>> Chloe started to fuss. Lord have Mercy that might be the biggest understatement of the history. Fuss? More like scream until I nursed her again. Did it matter that I had just nursed her half and hour ago and I was as close to understanding the term 'dry cow'? No. 

First we assumed (because of her age) that it had everything to do with teething and nothing to do with actual hunger. I was totally aware of comfort nursing and pretty much decided I was a victim of it. We knew she was eating whenever she felt like it. Sometimes every two hours sometimes she'd go four. Then she began to eat every hour to hour and a half. To the point I KNEW there was no way she was getting more than a couple oz's at a time. This continued for a week. And then another week. 

I've read over and over again that these cluster feedings are normal. That once your body know's she's hungry it will simply make more. It may take a week but it will happen. 

That's a friggin LIE. 

After almost TWO WEEKS of feeding her every hour to hour and a half something had to be done. She was still hungry, eating every hour on the hour and I was exhausted. I also smelled like maple syrup thanks to the fenugreek. 

*Cue frozen breast milk* 

Hell I'd try anything. Folks, We used it all (with the exception of one VERY DARK yellow bottle that I am saving for a cold or flu). The point is: I am failing to make enough right now to keep her content, for more than an hour at a time. 

So here's the plan: 

I'll supplement her about two 4oz bottles a day, after I nurse her in hopes that my body continues to know it needs to make more. All while having a satiated happy baby. 

If I would have been writing this weeks ago I might have been sad or felt defeated. But I've already come to terms with the fact that in a couple of weeks we will be starting Baby Led Weaning anyway. 

So Instead. I feel FREE. Seriously. Tonight for the first time in months Mr. A will be able to give Chloe a bottle while I cook. Or take a bath. Or read. Or have a glass of wine. Or you guessed it: Whatever-the-heck-I-want. After I nurse her of course. 

Cheers to the next stage of raising a baby friends, 

as you know it takes a village! 

PS: The necklace I'm wearing is from Chewbeads. They were awesome enough to hook me up with 40% off just so I'd give them a try. Chloe loves to chew on them and I love how sterile I can keep them since they are 100% silicone.